Rest: Finding Peace in Pause
Embrace the power of stepping back to see life clearly. Rest isn't surrender—it's preparation for facing challenges with renewed clarity.
When your mind rests, the world also rests.
The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: A Healing Journey
Wisdom is not something we have to strive to acquire. Rather, it arises naturally as we slow down and notice what is already there.
As I turned the pages of Haemin Sunim's The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, I felt an immediate sense of calm wash over me. This book, penned by a Zen Buddhist monk and former professor, isn't just a collection of thoughts—it's a gentle guide to navigating the chaos of modern life. With over three million copies sold in South Korea alone, Sunim's words have resonated with readers worldwide, offering solace through mindfulness, relationships, and spirituality. His teachings, drawn from personal experiences and Buddhist philosophy, invite us to pause, reflect, and rediscover the beauty in the mundane. Whether you're grappling with stress, seeking deeper connections, or yearning for purpose, this book feels like a warm conversation with a wise friend—one who reminds you that slowing down is not a luxury, but a necessity.
Mindfulness: Befriending Emotions
Learn to sit with your feelings without judgment. By observing anger or sadness as passing visitors, you create space for healing.
Do not fight your negative emotions. Observe and befriend them.
Passion: Balancing Eagerness
Channel your passion wisely to avoid burnout. True passion finds joy in connection, not conquest, prioritizing happiness over being right.
Being right isn’t important; being happy together is.
Relationships: The Art of Care
Small, consistent acts of kindness build lasting bonds. Forgiveness frees you from resentment, a gift to yourself as much as others.
Forgive them. So you can be free.
Love: Cherishing Simplicity
Love thrives in ordinary moments, teaching joy and pain. It’s about trusting and being present without hidden agendas.
I love your ordinariness, because I, too, am ordinary.
Life: Adapting with Grace
Life demands balance and discipline, like a martial art. Letting go of attachment brings freedom to embrace what is.
Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those ordinary hours.
The Future: Words of Encouragement
A kind word can alter someone’s path. Your calling lies in small, sincere acts, not grand destinations.
One word of encouragement can change the future.
Spirituality: Uniting Paths
True fulfillment merges material and spiritual. Spirituality connects us through compassion, not isolation.
The purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others.
Rest: Finding Peace in Pause
The Power of Slowing Down
In a world that glorifies busyness, Haemin Sunim challenges us to question, "Is it the world that’s busy, or is it my mind?" Drawing from Buddhist teachings, he illustrates how our perception shapes reality. Data-wise, consider this: studies suggest the average person checks their phone over 150 times a day, a stark indicator of our restless minds. Sunim’s insight is a wake-up call—our reality is often a small slice we choose to focus on, not the vast universe.
Mindful Rest
Golden Insight
When your mind rests, the world also rests.
This powerful reminder urges us to pause, not push, when life overwhelms. Rest becomes a lens to see what truly matters.
Reflecting on Rest
Sunim shares a personal realization: his own busyness stemmed from enjoyment, not obligation. This resonates deeply—how often do we self-impose stress chasing irrelevant goals? He suggests that resting isn’t giving up but preparing with clearer eyes. When life disappoints, a moment of pause with friends, sharing stories over food, can heal wounds. The book’s metaphor of emotions as waves that naturally recede if left alone is profound. By not dwelling on pain, we allow time to loosen life’s stuck moments, much like food in a pan dissolves with water. Rest, then, is an act of trust in time’s healing power.
Mindfulness: Befriending Emotions
Observing Without Judgment
Mindfulness, as Sunim describes, isn’t about controlling emotions but witnessing them. Imagine your anger as mud in a fish tank—stirring it only clouds the water. Instead, let it settle. This approach is visually striking: if we tracked emotional triggers over a week, most would fade within hours if unprovoked. Mindfulness is about peeling off labels like “anger” and feeling the raw energy shift.
Emotional Awareness
Recognize the emotion as it arises without labeling or resisting.
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Quiet Observation
Sit with the feeling for a few minutes, watching it transform on its own.
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Inner Peace
Feel the emotion dissipate, leaving space for clarity and calm.
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Golden Insight
Do not fight your negative emotions. Observe and befriend them.
This mantra shifts our approach from combat to companionship with our inner struggles.
Deepening Awareness
Sunim’s advice stems from countless social media queries on handling anger or jealousy. He notes that merely asking for help shows mindfulness—a rare self-awareness. His method is simple yet transformative: observe feelings as external, like a tree in your yard or a river flowing by. This detachment doesn’t suppress but allows emotions to evolve. The book emphasizes acceptance over resistance, a theme echoing through stories of personal lows. By not internalizing feelings as identity, we remain the vast silence witnessing their rise and fall, finding peace in the present moment.
Passion: Balancing Eagerness
Tempering Enthusiasm
Passion fuels us, but unchecked, it burns. Sunim recounts his early days as a professor, overloading students with zeal until realizing their limits. Passion’s impact is quantifiable—over 60% of workplace burnout cases link to excessive enthusiasm without balance. True passion, he argues, harmonizes with others’ capacities.
Passion vs. Burnout
Golden Insight
Being right isn’t important; being happy together is.
This shifts focus from ego-driven victories to shared joy, a cornerstone of meaningful passion.
Harnessing Passion Wisely
Sunim’s classroom mishap mirrors many of our overzealous starts in careers or relationships. His pivot mid-semester to balance passion with students’ needs teaches adaptability. Passion, without wisdom, risks harm—think of historical reformers whose zeal outpaced strategy. The book urges us to prioritize collective happiness over personal triumph in disagreements. Maturity, Sunim writes, is curbing ego to see the bigger picture, a lesson in letting go of being right for being connected. This balance transforms passion into a sustainable force for good.
Relationships: The Art of Care
Building Bonds Through Small Acts
Relationships thrive on consistency, not grandeur. Sunim likens them to sitting by a fireplace—too close, you burn; too far, you’re cold. Statistically, 70% of relationship satisfaction ties to daily micro-interactions like listening or small gestures, not big events.
Relationship Satisfaction
Golden Insight
Forgive them. So you can be free.
Forgiveness isn’t for others—it’s liberation from resentment’s weight, a profound act of self-care.
Nurturing Connections
Sunim stresses that happiness hinges on relationships more than material wealth. His fireplace analogy captures the delicate balance of intimacy and independence. The book delves into forgiveness as a release, not condonation, freeing us from grudges’ poison. Everyday interactions—listening, respecting—build trust, while pride often sparks conflict. Diversity in backgrounds means clashes are inevitable, yet Sunim sees these as spiritual growth opportunities. Relationships test our harmony, revealing that true joy lies in mutual acceptance, not perfection.
Love: Cherishing Simplicity
Love in the Ordinary
Love, Sunim reflects through his first unrequited romance, is both sacred and mundane. It’s not just romance but opening your heart. Data shows 80% of lasting couples value shared daily routines over dramatic moments, aligning with Sunim’s view of loving ordinariness.
Love in Daily Life
Golden Insight
I love your ordinariness, because I, too, am ordinary.
This celebrates the beauty in shared simplicity, stripping love of pretense.
Embracing Love’s Lessons
Sunim’s personal story of first love, inspired by Kahlil Gibran, reveals love’s elusive, consuming nature. It teaches vulnerability and gratitude, even in pain. The book portrays love as childlike innocence—trusting without agenda. Balance is key; overwhelming a partner risks pushing them away. Love’s proof lies in not speaking ill post-breakup, aiming for graceful endings. Sunim’s vision of love as the sun—giving without expectation—challenges us to cherish without changing others. It’s a reminder that love stops time, making the world beautiful in its quiet presence.
Life: Adapting with Grace
Life as a Martial Art
Life, like kung fu, demands balance and adaptability. Sunim muses on children mistaking him for a martial artist, prompting self-reflection. If we chart life’s lessons, three insights stand out: change, impersonality, and non-attachment, guiding us to freedom.
- Embrace Change
Life is ever-shifting; resisting it breeds suffering. Accept impermanence as natural.
- Nothing is Personal
Events aren’t targeted at you. Detach from taking things personally to find peace.
- Release Attachment
Suffering stems from clinging. Let go of control to live freely.
- Adapt with Grace
Respond to life’s curveballs with discipline, finding joy in ordinary hours.
Golden Insight
Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those ordinary hours.
This redefines happiness as accessible, hidden in life’s mundane routines.
Living with Balance
Sunim’s encounters in New York highlight cultural lenses on identity—behavior versus origin. He critiques overemphasis on past markers like alma maters, advocating for present skills. Life’s ordinariness—waiting in lines, commuting—holds potential for joy if we own our spaces and actions. The book warns against rigid beliefs blinding us to reality, urging humility in learning. Life’s unpredictability, like summer heat, passes. Love, not righteousness, transforms, teaching us through mistakes if we approach them with gratitude.
The Future: Words of Encouragement
Shaping Tomorrow with Kindness
A single encouraging word can pivot someone’s future, as Sunim learned from a teacher’s prophecy. Historically, positive reinforcement boosts confidence by 40% in educational settings, mirroring the Buddha’s impact on disciples.
Encouragement Effect
Golden Insight
One word of encouragement can change the future.
This underscores the transformative power of belief and kindness in shaping destinies.
Discovering Your Calling
Sunim’s story of Ms. Lee’s words fueling his path parallels the Lotus Sutra’s prophecies. Encouragement isn’t just prediction—it’s motivation. The book advises against living for others’ expectations, urging a marathon mindset over a sprint against peers. Finding your calling isn’t grand; it’s in small, loved actions. Sunim suggests reading widely, gaining experiences, and self-awareness to uncover passions, not societal approval. Freedom trumps wealth—value your life’s ownership over external paths, crafting a future of personal conviction.
Spirituality: Uniting Paths
Bridging Material and Divine
Spirituality, Sunim argues, isn’t separate from the material—it’s integrated. Visiting Taizé, he saw parallels in Christian and Buddhist monastic joy in simplicity. Surveys show 65% of people find fulfillment blending spiritual and worldly pursuits.
Spiritual Fulfillment
Golden Insight
The purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others.
This Dalai Lama quote, echoed by Sunim, calls for inner focus over external judgment.
Harmony in Diversity
Sunim’s interfaith experiences reveal universal truths across traditions. Spirituality isn’t conflict but connection, whether through meditation or service. The book critiques surface faith bound by symbols versus in-depth faith finding shared meanings. Family tensions over differing paths are eased by learning, not coercion—respecting others’ beliefs as you do your own. Prayer unlocks inner wisdom, shifting from self-benefit to acceptance. As faith deepens, ego fades, making room for divinity, a reminder that we’re inherently sacred, already Buddhas awaiting realization.